Stares, Stalkers and Stigmatism

My workplace is situated in the Indian Quarter of Purgatory. I like it, as it is not tourist-oriented like the Chinese Quarter or, to a lesser extent, the Arabic Quarter, and because unlike the rest of this faceless "could-be-anywhere-in-the-world" city it just seems real. And it seems properly Asian too. From he moment you walk out of the train station the sights, smells and sounds hit you - the chaos of the streets in this part of town where no-one observes jay-walking laws and bikes happily trundle against the supposed one-way flow of traffic; the heady mix of aromas from the fruit and veg stalls, the spice shops, the curry houses and the incense; the noise of people, of traffic and of exoctic, mystical sounding music wafting above it all. Something about this area makes me feel quite alive!

Unfortunately not everyone feels this way. A large section of the majority Chinese population, alongside a fair few western ex-pats, view the Indian Quarter with suspicion and occasionally outright disdain. "Not safe", they will say, "Too much crime", "Too much drunken behaviour", "Unclean". And to an extent they are not incorrect... it's just that, in their stereotyping, they are not really correct either.

Crime - it does happen in purgatory, despite the reputation the city has for being largely free of such a blight. I have found it to be more opportunistic crime than outright - you leave your wallet alone for two minutes and it will disappear, but you're not likely to be mugged for it. But I have seen no more evidence of this in the Indian Quarter than I have anywhere else.

Drunken behaviour - well, the Indians can claim to take their place alongside the Scots and the Irish when it comes to drinking a lot and, yes, some of them go too far. I have seen a couple of fights break out outside bars but then I have seen that in the posher areas of the city too.

Cleanliness - at night when leaflets are being distributed and discarded and when bits of fruit and veg are being scattered in the streets, yes it does look unclean. But around 4am an army of cleaners are passing through the streets making sure that the new day will have a fresh, clean start.

But then there is one other thing that puts people off, women in particular. That is the stares they get from the men. Women I know get particularly uncomfortable on a Sunday, the day when the immigrant labour force from India, Bangladesh and other countries get their one day off and descend on the area to meet their friends and families and to socialise. The thing is, a lot of these guys are from countries where women dress a little more conservatively than many women (especially Chinese and western women) in Singapore and as a result they are not used to seeing cleavage (both breast and buttock) on such prominent display. I am not saying that their staring is not impolite but when you are brought up in a country where there isn't really much to stare at then how are you going to learn that it is not polite?

There are reports of women being groped as well, a crime here known as "Offence of Modesty" and punishable by fines or jail time. I have only ever seen this once and that was actually perpetrated by an elderly Chinese man, but I have had friends tell me their stories. One in particular, an Indian woman herself, has told me she will not be coming to my bar again as the last time she was there she got hassled afterwards whilst trying to get a cab. All of which is understandable but still a real shame... because it creates this image of the Indian Quarter as the place where these things happen, the place that should be avoided. The truth is, however, that it is not that much different from elsewhere in town.

Towards the back end of last year I was performing with my band in The Scottish Bar, located in the midst of an "entertainment zone" at the riverside. This is not a cheap place to go out and, as such, a disproportionate percentage of it's patrons are ex-pats, although two bars along the same stretch are targeted to the Indian and Chinese communities and their clientele is representative of this. This particular evening a close Indian friend of mine came down to watch us perform. It was not the first time she had been down but, with her housemate away and her sister ill, it was her first time alone. She found a free table, ordered a drink, and settled down to listen... at which point a slightly intoxicated caucasian guy ambled up, plonked his drink on the same table, and propped himself up next to her.

Now, this is a busy bar with few tables, so when someone has a whole table to themselves it is not unusual for them to be asked if they would mind sharing. This guy didn't ask... ok, my friend could live with that. But then he tried to strike up a conversation with her. Personally, I'm quite a shy guy, unless I've got a couple of drinks inside me, so I know how hard it can be to try and start up a conversation with a woman, and I do think women need to be a little more forgiving when a man tries to talk to them, even if they don't like the guy. They should be flattered, for a start, and if they are not interested they can politely send the guy away. Which is what my friend tried to do... but guys, once you get that brush off you should smile politely and say goodbye. This is not the movies, your persistence is not charming.

This guy does not get that, so he tries some chatter. She gives one word answers and eventually just ignores him. I can see her from the stage getting pissed off. Then he leaves, only to return two minutes later with a drink which he shoves in front of her without saying a thing. She tries to decline but eventually finds it easier to just accept it. And so he tries talking some more, to which she tries to be polite out of some gratitude for a drink that she neither wanted nor asked for, but it's taking its toll on her and I can see her getting exasperated. Then comes the hand on the shoulder, which she brushes off... but it doesn't take long then to find its way to the small of her back. She is now physically squirming in her seat... I look at the bar staff and see they have noticed but have not got a clue what to do. I try to catch the managers eye and beckon him to the stage, but he is engrossed in conversation elsewhere. I look back across and even from a distance I can see that she is now completely tense and she is practically begging him to leave... I later learn that she had even gone down the road of pointing at me and saying "that's my boyfriend", to no avail. We have played three and a half songs since he arrived, that's a good fifteen minutes of harrassment, and I cannot stand here and watch my friend being treated this way, so when the song ends we announce the end of the set (a song early) and I march through the crowd straight to where they are.

I am not a violent person. I have never thrown a serious punch in my life and I have always resolved my conflicts through words. But at this point I am so furious I can feel myself shaking... I know I won't hit him, that's not me, but I don't really know what I am going to do until I get there and grab his shirt, pull him towards me, and say "If you touch my friend one more time I'll break your fucking neck". Extreme, I know, and most unlike me...

He holds up his hands in inocent shock - "I didn't realise she was yours" he splutters. "She's not", I reply, unaware of her earlier claims. "She's my friend. But that's not the point. She made it more than clear she wanted you to leave her alone."

The manager came over and removed him from the area. If that had happened in my bar he would have been thrown out but this guy was with a large group of friends who were spending money. Typical. But that is not my point...

The workers in the Indian Quarter stare - a lot - and I have heard of them standing too close to women on escalators, or their hands "accidentally" brushing past, all of which are doubtless disconcerting and I am always hearing from ex-pat women how scary it is that they might get "harrassed" by one of the "natives". But the aggressive pursuit I saw that night at the riverside is, I believe, much worse - especially as there are more than a few well-paid ex-pats out here who have the mentality that they can just click their fingers and get any Asian girl they want.

Incidents like this can happen anywhere. They shouldn't, but they do, and I cannot and will not force anyone to come to the Indian Quarter or the riverside if they really don't want to. I just wish people wouldn't blindly stigmatise a vibrant area that has a lot going for it...